Country Supper

Many apologies to my dear readers for the lack of blog updates these past months. As often happens in student life, things had become rather busy with exams and my impending dissertation, but I am happy to report that I am now with my head above water. Another reason for Job-Seeker John and my absence is that barring the European Elections, little has happened politically of late, thus limiting fodder for the blog.

Happily though that all changed when Rebekah Brooks was miraculously declared ‘not-guilty’ by a verdict of our peers. I say ‘our peers’ because it’s well known that the abomination known as Ms. Brooks only keeps company with evil reptilian aliens hell bent on world domination via impoverishing the less fortunate and hacking into our voicemail. A dastardly bunch if every there was one.

Ramen, part two

 After my experiment with packet ramen I thought it best that I actually give making the real stuff a go. I made shoyu ramen and it was pretty excellent. It’s surprisingly hard to link ramen with anything going on politically right now (except of course debates around immigration but I’ve already done that with wantons and Tories) so instead I’m going to give you the top five reasons that I don’t like UKIP. Besides, based on the assumption that UKIP despises everything I love, I’m pretty sure UKIP hates ramen. 

The Science of Ramen

Despite having vowed to never again engage with science or maths academically at the tender age of 15, to everyone’s surprise at 26 I ended up deciding- without coercion- to undertake a masters of science in public health. While the jury is still very firmly out as to whether or not this was a wise endeavour (when I say out I mean the jury has run away most likely to avoid giving me the bad news), it has meant that I’ve learnt a thing or two about evidence and how it can be used to manipulate us as a population and the policy makers and health commissioners who hold the purse strings.

The admission not so many weeks ago that Tamiflu is actually useless despite being very expensive inspired me to do my own experiment to ensure that none of us suffer from that most terrible of consumer afflictions- paying more for something that sucks. While initially I wanted to review East London butchers it turns out I remain skint so my gaze shifted to that most wonderful student food: ramen noodles.

Circling the ring fence

This month has been a bit of a milestone for yours truly. I’m officially past the half-way mark of my masters program. This also means that I’ve been unemployed for 8 months. Quite an achievement, let me tell you. Something truly momentous occurred too. I uncovered a real windfall in my freezer- a two kilo joint of pork I panic bought accidentally at thanksgiving. Much like a Tory realising that foreign aid has been ring-fenced for three years I seized my opportunity! I rang up Job-Seeker John asking for a recipe and got cooking before anyone was the wiser and tried to use it to feed the less fortunate.

Friends, this may have been our best meal yet. Job-Seeker John and I formed a coalition of culinary talent and produced the following….

The water’s arising…

Birthdays are a little bit like floods. Not because of the outpouring of emotion being akin the floods of tears (we’re well hard innit) but rather because they have two distinct qualities that make them absolutely unique.

1) You know they’re coming every year.

2) You never remember how costly they were last time.

Nationalism, slow cooked

Today’s culinary delight is beef stew. This is in part inspired by BNP leader Nick Griffin’s frankly weird foray in TV cheffery. This recipe is largely similar to his except I replaced the virulent racism, ignorance and bigotry, with bacon Job-Seeker John style. I find it gives much better flavour and you won’t hate yourself (or immigrants) as much. So until Nigel Farage treats us to his divine Queen of Puddings recipe, or Geert Wilders reveals the secret of his family’s traditional waffle recipe (I know waffles are traditionally Belgian but I couldn’t think of any traditional Dutch foods; and I bet you can’t either) you shall have to make do with my take on Beef Stew.

Kung hei fat choy!

Hello dear readers!

While this post isn’t about austerity it is about something nearly as important- new kinds of Chinese food. Yesterday was Chinese New Year so your intrepid adventurer Cutback Charlie braved the rain and wind and rain to travel to China town and bring you back news from the East. On the dim sum menu was a previously undiscovered culinary delight which may be the most incredible thing to be brought to these shores since wontons. (And you know how I feel about dumplings.) Behold! In all it’s glory! A hollowed out loaf of white bread, filled with a chicken stew and deep fried, I present… 

Gnocchi, Forever.

If you’re as concerned as we are that the minimum wage may not return to pre-crash levels until 2015 then, dear reader, take comfort in this ultra cheap gnocchi recipes from me, Job-seeker John. This is the real deal- crazily inexpensive and very simple it make, it’s also so delicious that you might not mind eating only this for the next 18 months. And that’s assuming that dear old Georgie keeps his promise.

Well Cheap Wontons

Here at Austerilicious we really value immigration. Not only does the movement of people enable us foreigners to steal scarce British jobs and cripple the NHS, the completely rational discourse surrounding it has led to the rise of such charming comedy political parties such as the BNP and UKIP. It’s also provided our most favourite politician Theresa May with ample opportunity to do what she does best- to trample the human rights of impoverished migrants and asylum seekers. What could be a better contribution to modern British society than reactionary politics you ask? Well dear friends, we would dare to say that we may have found the answer: wontons.

Cultural Revolution

While strictly speaking this blog is for recipes, today I was thrilled to see that we at Austerilicious aren’t the only people in London mixing food and politics… While walking through the Angel I saw this wonderful sign for the brilliantly named New Culture Revolution. I think it’s the sister restaurant to this place in Chelsea (gasp!) but their website hasn’t been updated in a while so I can’t be sure. We haven’t eaten here yet but maybe we’ll save our pennies, pop in, and congratulate them on their wonderful punning.